Divorce can affect students’ mental health

Divorce can affect students mental health

Aaliyah Solano, Editor-in-Chief

  Divorce. The separation of individuals who once vowed to love each other. Through sickness and health. For better or worse. In this case, the better could not suffice for the pain caused during the “worse.” 

  Separation affects everyone involved, not only the individuals who were once in love but both parties’ respective families, more so the families they created together.  

   “Both of my parents have never constantly been together, my dad was always in and out of the house a lot. Growing up all I’ve known is them not being together,” senior Makaila Mburu said. 

  “I didn’t necessarily always have the right person that I needed there,” junior Camryn Knobbe said. “Not having both parental figures in your life really speeds up the growing up process because you don’t have somebody to rely on for everything you need.”  

  Watching people who promised to love each other lose the spark they once had, can change a child’s outlook. 

  “I’ve now realized that even if you have a kid with someone that doesn’t mean they’re your soulmate. Choose the one who is right for you and not someone out of obligation,” junior Brialynn Mica said. 

  Kids grow up watching their parent’s relationships as what the true definition of love is. Either what one strives for later in life, or what one steers away from.  

  “The way you see your parents’ marriage is a reflection on what you want or don’t want,” Knobbe said. 

  Oftentimes when the divorced couple separates, their child may feel as though they’re a part of a “tug of war.” 

  “The student is the rope, and by that, the student really doesn’t have any control. They’re being held on by each parent. So, I try to empower the student as much as they can to let the parents know it’s something they need to work on with the estranged spouse,” social worker Alan Bank said. 

  “I always remind them, you’re the kid, and it’s always ok to set boundaries and say ‘I don’t want to be in the middle anymore,’”  social worker Alexa Diaz said. 

Both parents disassociating themselves from one another can make it difficult when coming together for their child’s triumphs. 

  “If my parents were still together my softball success would be celebrated all together, but that’s not the case. It’s always good when you have one parent who really cares about you succeeding, but it’d be better to have both,” Mica said. 

  “When I do sports I don’t think ‘I wish my parents were here to see it’ because of all the parents of other people [who have been there],” Mburu said. 

  The lack of communication between parents can also affect their children. 

  “Sometimes parents forget that they’re still children,” Bank said, “You may have comments from a parent that are against the other parent. And so, it makes it more difficult on that child too who undoubtedly still wants to have a good relationship with both parents.” 

  “Typically when the parents aren’t communicating they’re using the child too, which is stressful when adding a third party involved,” Diaz said. 

 It tends to be hard for children to grasp the possibility of their parents isolating. 

  “It still is a loss even though it is not a death, so you need to grieve,” Bank said. 

  Despite the hardship, sometimes separation is the best decision for families. 

  “I was four when my parents divorced. But all I know is that when my dad was home my mom wasn’t and vice versa. So if it didn’t happen when it did I wouldn’t have had the future parental figures that came into my life later on,” Knobbe said. 

“I feel like I wouldn’t have pushed myself to the point of where I’m at now [if my parents stayed together],” Mburu said.