Long distance relationships pull at heartstrings


Stephanie Wallace, Staff Writer

Faith, trust, and pixie dust are the ingredients to flying. Patience, love and unlimited minutes are the ones for a long-distance relationship.
Since the dawn of time, people have traveled far to be with their significant other, and as technology has improved, it’s become easier to meet and develop new relations. From the 1800’s with good old pen and paper to 2019 with instant text messaging and facetime, long-distance relationships have become more attainable and yet, still carry a negative connotation.
“Because people [who are] very far apart from each other can’t be loyal. There’s no one to stop them [from cheating], Aiden Mendoza, freshman, said.
Long-distance relationships also do not have a solid concrete definition. Men’s Health magazine uses the example of a grocery store. When being asked if 45 minutes is considered a long distance, they responded with, “In some parts of this country, it takes 45 minutes to get to the grocery store. And for people in actual long-distance relationships—the ones you need airplane tickets for—your question is near hilarious.”
Odyssey compares the experience to standing in front of a mirror and touching the glass. A person can see themselves and hear themselves, but anything past that is beyond their physical limits. In general, a long-distance relationship is one where someone is not able to see their significant other regularly.
For instance, sophomore Nicolas Balhan met his significant other, who lives in South Dakota, through a group chat and they had been dating for two weeks before recently facetiming for the first time.
“I do believe that there is a bit of grey area, but it is the feeling in the heart that makes it so strong,” Balhan, said.
However, in a Fielder survey of 196 people, it was found that the majority would not consider being a long-distance relationship because of various factors like the lack of intimacy and physical connection to the lack of trust and commitment.
“They never workout; there’s pretty much no commitment,” Jake Ramirez, senior, said.
Because of these judgements, meeting someone online has become more of a taboo. With the rise of social media also came the rise of catfishing, the art of “luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona”. Not only have generalizations risen but also concerns about who is hiding behind a phone screen, causing the phrase “we met online” to be met with ridicule and judgement.
“The distance lacks intimacy, what’s the point,” Melanie Tsnmi, senior, said. “Sounds kind of desperate honestly.”
According to students in the survey, when one cannot see their significant other on a day to day basis, it’s easy to start to wonder what they are up to, who they are hanging out with, and even what they are thinking. Spacing out time in an already busy schedule to facetime may turn into more of a chore or responsibility than a pleasurable activity.
“I feel like it [the distance] affected us at first,” Daniel Cuevas, junior, said about how it was when his now girlfriend of two years moved away. “We talked and planned stuff out to make it more steady.”
Cuevas has been dating his girlfriend for two years and even though she lives an hour and a half away, they still make time to visit each other about every weekend.
And while physical aspects are obviously missing, according to a Huffington Post research article, “couples who live apart have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other daily. They also tend to idealize their partners’ behaviors, leading to a greater sense of intimacy.”
“It is mainly based on trust but it’s how much you know the person to where you can put in your own mind that you know that they won’t [cheat],” Balhan, said. “[They] can be like any other relationship.”